Well-Connected - "Why Your Achievements Still Feel Empty (Even When You're Doing What You Want)"

You scored as "Well-Connected" on the desire disconnection assessment, which means you have good access to your authentic desires and generally know what you want. That's actually rare in today's world, so first—acknowledge that this is a strength.

But if you're still reading this, something might feel off. Maybe you pursue things you genuinely want but the satisfaction doesn't last. Or you achieve goals that excited you initially, only to feel empty shortly after. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with what I call "proxy desires."

The Satisfaction Gap

Here's what happens: you think you want something, you pursue it with genuine enthusiasm, you achieve it... and then the feeling fades faster than you expected. Within days or weeks, you're back to feeling restless or searching for the next thing.

This isn't because you're never satisfied or have unrealistic expectations. It's because what you thought was an authentic desire was actually a "proxy desire"—something that echoes a real need but doesn't actually fulfill it.

For example, you might pursue a promotion because you think you want career advancement, but the underlying need is actually for recognition or autonomy. The promotion gives you a temporary hit of achievement, but because it doesn't address the core need, the satisfaction quickly evaporates.

The Hidden Pattern

People with good desire recognition often fall into proxy patterns because they're sophisticated enough to dress up external expectations as personal wants. You're not chasing obviously hollow goals—you're pursuing things that genuinely appeal to you on some level. But there's often a subtle layer of "should" or social conditioning wrapped around the authentic core.

The key is learning to dig one layer deeper. When you want something, ask: "What would having this actually give me?" Keep asking until you reach the fundamental need underneath. That's where lasting satisfaction lives.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.